Are We Even Human?
by Queen Nephthys
Summary: It wasn't the first time the thought crossed her mind, but the divorce was the final straw. Seeing Austria sign their marriage away so carelessly rose her doubts to new heights. Were they so inhuman that they were void of love and freedom? Could they not laugh, not starve, not feel as normal people did? Why personify a nation if you cannot express the humanity of your nation?


Since I received quite a bit of positive feedback from my last Hetalia story, "Draw a Circle", I decided to write another one just out of sheer happiness that people actually liked that one.

Rather than a relatively pointless oneshot, this time around I'll be using one of my favorite pairings from the series, Austria x Hungary. This will be focusing on Hungary's thoughts as she goes through her divorce with Austria after World War I. I've had this idea in my head now for quite some time as to how the countries view their own existences, and I thought that something like the separation of Austria-Hungary would be a prime way of displaying how, as countries, they may sometimes question the purpose of their own existences, seeing as they have no true power over most of the goings on in their countries, leaving it up to their bosses most of the time. Hence, Austria and Hungary's separation.

I tried to stay as historically accurate as possible, right down to the reason for the dissipation of Austria-Hungary, but if I either left something out or got something wrong, feel free to call me on it. I can't guarantee that I'll edit my errors, but I'll make sure to correct myself in the future. Like my last Hetalia fanfic, this is another experiment on characterization for a larger Hetalia fic I'm working on, and unlike the last one, this will have some slightly darker undertones to it, rather than the usual happy-go-lucky attitude that is usually associated with the anime, just because that's what I prefer to write as.

Also, as a final note, I'm VERY into Nyotalia as well, so I've taken the liberty of genderbending most of the characters that appear in here. The list of genderbent characters are as follows: France (Fem!France is so preeeeetttty!), Romano (will be called Romana here), Poland, and Russia. So don't like, don't read! Really, the only one you'll see a lot of is France, just because I have a soft spot for her, otherwise the others are more or less cameos.

Otherwise, I really hope that you enjoy this little insight into the eyes of Hungary!

* * *

His eyes yielded no emotion, and that was perhaps the worst of it. She couldn't tell how he was feeling, yet if she had to guess, her emotions could be detected by every single person in that room. The only way she could be more obvious was if she would break out in a fit of tears right there on the spot. A part of her almost wanted to. Maybe if she did that, it would grant her his attention, and then she could look into his eyes and see that he felt something from what was going on right now. Even if it was happiness, relief that this phase of their lives was coming to a close (there had been serious turbulence within their relationship, she wasn't about to deny that), it was better than his blank, emotionless stare. The look of someone who didn't care, who was neutral to everything that was going on.

She looked around the room, seeing if the others of their kind had similar looks of disinterest, if she was the only one who was impacted emotionally by this. Not only were their bosses there, but the Allies as well. Though only playing a small part in the dissolving of her marriage to Austria, The Great War had been the final nail in the coffin, Germany's defeat their death sentence. Germany himself wasn't here; he had more important things to worry about to be at this meeting, and Hungary knew it. Compared to the hell that France and England were planning to put the other country through, hers and Austria's divorce was merciful by comparison. Speaking of the two, they sat at opposite ends of the meeting room, as usual wanting nothing to do with the other. Yet though it may have been Hungary's imagination, she thought that the tension between the two was thicker than it normally was. France sat closest to Hungary, which made her the easiest to read. She had her blue eyes focused on her two allies from across the room, darting between England and America with disappointment and anger clear to be seen. Italy and Romano were right next to her. While Romana was her typical, standoffish self, Italy, she found, was staring at her sadly, obviously upset to see she and Austria going through with this. Well, even if they didn't want to, it wasn't up to them anyway. Glancing across the room begot her a look at England and America, neither of which she wanted anything to do with at the moment, especially America. She blamed the young country entirely for her separation from Austria. If it hadn't been for him and his boss with the Fourteen Points, things wouldn't have had to end this way. Tensions wouldn't have risen beyond the breaking point in their homes, and they could have found a way to work through the problems together, as married couples should. But America had to go and be a hero, he had to be the one to save the world, because the world was in need of saving by him. It angered her to no end, and she knew that she wasn't the only one. America wasn't even a part of Europe; he had no place to involve himself in their affairs! She didn't care if he had allied with England and France in the war; that had been their choice to include him. He had been the one to take it to the next step and determine that everyone against the Allied Forces was misguided and in need of his help. And now that it was all said and done, now he had the gall to show up in Vienna along with the others, sit behind the desk and act as though he knew what was going on, lording over all the others like some monarch. The irony didn't escape her, and she wondered if anyone other than her could see it; see him unknowingly exposing himself for the hypocrite that he was. England was no different, the spitting image of a refined gentleman. The difference was that he wasn't under the delusion that he was doing either she or Austria some justice. This would hurt the both of them, he was aware, and he didn't care. Because he had won. He had won, and as a result, he would determine what the best course of action would be for those victorious, and what to do with those defeated.

He and America were heading this entire thing with France; weren't those three supposed to hate each other?! How could such bitter rivals come together like this? And why did it have to be against her, _them?_ How could America and England be sitting together like old friends as though they had no history as enemies? Was this to be her fate with Austria, a hundred years from now? Fifty? **Ten**?! Were they to be in this same situation, where they could act as the best of friends? Would the divorce be nothing more than a memory of a dream of a past life; a shadow in a faded photograph? Was she meant to go on and live like this had never happened?!

51 years of marriage, and happy marriage at that! Austria had never said otherwise. She'd be lying to herself if she said that she hadn't been in love with him, that this had been strictly political. Their union may have benefitted both their countries, but this had never been about their homes. Not for her at least. Her house was strong and proud, and could overcome any hardship without the assistance of others. It was Austria she had cared for, Austria she wished to be with. She thought that he felt the same. Just from the way he would smile for her, and go out of his way to make her happy, do things he wouldn't normally do to please her. How he taught her to play the piano, _**his piano**_!

Others are there, too. Poland is here only because she is being given some land from their territories. The same goes for Czech and Ukraine. Russia is here as well, but her presence seems to be a mystery to everyone there, even the allies. To her knowledge, she was getting nothing out of this separation, even though her sister was. She wasn't addressed at any time, and she just sat in the corner, next to Ukraine, smiling for whatever reason she found to smile. All she could say in certain was that America didn't want her here, and that for Hungary was more than a good reason for her to stay.

She hears a chair slide across the floor, and Austria stands. He walks around the table, over to where the papers are. His face is steel, cold and emotionless. he picks up the pen and signs the first sheet, the formal contract, then the next one, and the next one. He doesn't even read over what he's signing. The contracts had been read aloud to everyone in the room, but it didn't change how careless it was in her eyes. She at least planned to read everything over before signing away her life for his and her countries alike.

At the last piece of paper, she swears he hesitates for the smallest second, and his eyes flicker, betraying his indifference. But it's gone as soon as it comes, like a gust of wind. It may as well have been her hopeful mind playing tricks on her. His hand moves over the paper, and it is halfway done. For her, it is over though. It had been over before the meeting had ever been planned.

When the meeting ends and all the paperwork and negotiations have been completed, everyone gets up and shakes hands as though they are all the best of friends, and this was some casual get-together for them. France and England don't shake hands, and she offers America the same treatment when he extends his hand and a friendly smile to her. He really is a fool if he thinks she'll be forgiving him anytime soon, if ever! The same went for Austria. She wanted to scream at him, to tell him how much she hated him right now, but she couldn't bring herself to it. She wanted to tell him to stop looking so damn emotionless, she wanted to kick him, to hurt him, to make him feel exactly as she did right now. She wanted to see him get angry at her, to chastise her for acting like a spoiled brat and to grow up. She wanted to see him break down in tears and cry out in frustration that this was no easier for him than it was for her. She wanted him to say that he had never loved her, and that he was glad to no longer be responsible for her. She wanted him to show her that he was a human, who had just divorced his wife. She wanted to see the man she loved care about enough to tell her what he felt.

Instead, she let him go, and went back home. Days passed by, and the only thing that spoke to her was the news. She read through various articles about the changing climate of Europe now that the War was over. The Allies were beating down on Germany and those formerly allied with him. The League of Nations was put into place(of which she did not join), intended to stop any future wars of the magnitude of the Great War. But nothing changed, none of it mattered to her. No one ever said anything about she or Austria. The news never said how he was doing, and she knew that he was struggling. Even if she did not see him, she could _feel _it! He was alone again, once again no one would stand with him, and this time she could not go to him to offer her aid, her comfort, her companionship. And it hurt her, too; she who had promised him that she would never abandon him as others had in the past. She had been forced to go against her own vows. As the weeks passed, eventually the guilt and loneliness became too much to bear, and she grew tired of waiting for the world to keep moving. She needed to take some kind of action.

She had gone to France. Of all the allied powers, France would be the easiest to reach. England and America would be too blinded by the glory of their victory in The Great War to even notice her pleas for this single act of mercy, and Italy would not understand in the way that she needed for him to. Still, she hadn't expected much; if anything, she certainly hadn't expected France to welcome her into her home and tell her to stay for dinner. And she didn't even flirt with her or heckle her for being on the losing side. The older nation understood what Hungary was going through, knew what this defeat had cost her, and for Hungary to come here of her own will, in the afterglow of the most devastating war that Europe had ever known, that was the sign of either true courage, or indifferent surrender.

She didn't lie, nor did she try to sugarcoat the truth from the once proud nation. _I spoke with the others about it already. _she had told Hungary, _There was no need to end your matrimony with Austria just because it was one based in politics. There was nothing more I could do on the matter. As usual, England and America just __**have **__to have their way._

She had sounded disgusted by the whole thing, and Hungary had to wonder just how that meeting deciding the fate of her country, of **their **country, had taken place. _I mean it, Hungary; I'm sorry. No offense, but it just wasn't something worth fighting another war over on my part. This War... has hurt both sides involved. I don't have the heart nor the resources to be caught up in another dispute, and I was on the winning side. _

_I wasn't expecting anyone to fight for it. Not even Austria fought against it._

The look on France's face was clear; she didn't like this fact at all. If Austria were here right now, Hungary dared to think, he would probably have gotten an earful. But he wasn't. So rather than berate him for his decisions, she instead relaxed her face and spoke, as Hungary felt, as calmly as she could, _...Then that is his loss. That... he will have to live with the rest of his life. _

In the silence that grew between them afterwards, Hungary could sense frustration, confusion, and knew that she had not only France's sympathy, but her **empathy **as well. It gave her the strength she needed to ask her next question, one she had always had, but never asked another nation in her life; not Austria, not Prussia, not anyone.

_Are we not supposed to have feelings? Are we supposed to just be puppets for others to control? Do we even __**exist **__at all?_

France seemed unfazed by this question; in fact, it appeared as though she had expected it. Her lips curved into a mirthless smile. _I wish I knew the answer. _She had said. _But you know? I don't think that knowing the answer would change anything._

_Is that what you tell yourself? _France nodded.

_We are countries. We are the epitome of everything that our homes are. We are the single voice of every person who lives here. That is all we can know for certain._

But that wasn't true. If it was, then she wouldn't be trying so hard to repair the broken shambles of their union. Her people and his had been wanting out of this relationship nearly since its forging. And even now here she is, after the fact, begging for one of the Allies to reconsider bringing she and Austria back together. If this was all true, wouldn't she think and feel the same way as her people, who wanted nothing to do with Austria now that the two countries were separated?

When she eventually left France's house and returned to her own, she felt as though she had just wasted her time. France had told her that she would try to discuss the matter of she and Austria with the others the next chance she got, but she told Hungary very plainly that she didn't see them changing their minds. And really, that was already more than Hungary knew she should hope for. The others weren't as sympathetic as France was, because they didn't hold on to their pasts in the way that she did. The only memories they allowed themselves were their victories, their triumphs. Everything else was stored away in an old musty closet. In a way, she was envious; she wished she could forget about her past like that, and be able to look towards the future instead of looking back and always wondering as she did. Perhaps that was yet another characteristic of her people she was forced to carry within her as well.

It wasn't the first time the thought had crossed her mind, but the divorce had been the final straw. Seeing Austria, able to sign their marriage away without batting an eye, rose her doubts to new heights. Were they really so inhuman that they were void of such things as love and freedom? Could they not laugh, not starve, not _feel_ as normal people did? Why personify a nation if you could not express the humanity of your nation?

* * *

I'm a little iffy on the ending, as I always am with my writings, but I didn't want this to drag out for too long either. After all, there isn't supposed to be any closure or happy ending here, just what history gives us.

If any of the characters were OOC, sorry about that. Again, I wanted this to be a bit more serious outlook on the position that all of the countries are in. And as for France, as stated in the story, I figured she'd be the most likely to understand Hungary's plight and to offer her some form of consolation. England cares too much about his victory, Italy is too immature to truly understand what Hungary would be going through, and America is a little bit of both. Besides, France would also have her history with other countries like England to go back to, allowing her the ability to empathize with Hungary, so she was the best choice.

Do I characterize everyone well? Do you see this being a believable response to such a situation for Hungary? What about my writing style? Anything that can help me to improve upon my writing, I'd like to know! Otherwise, I hope you liked this, and I appreciate everyone who took the time to read it. And if you want me to keep writing for the Hetalia fandom, please let me know, because I am not into this series enough that I'll be consistently writing for it unless I see a positive response to my works!

r&r at your leisure.


End file.
